Fan Art 2
And now, for another installment of FANART!!
by Vicious Creechling. Everybody love da creepy smile!
by Monster. That's the same monster that does Spookle, by the way.
by Zack. ...He was trying to make sure SED wasn't immune to the internet rules.
by Mello. He started making a little comic about the people on the forums.
by Mello. Same thing as the above. I think there was some pages done of it, but not sure.
That's all folks!
Fan Art
Okay, so I figured I'd share some fan art of SED with everybody. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
by Spy. Although this is more just a random forum thing... >.>
by Vicious Creechling. Creepy huh?
by Monster, I do believe.
And, okay, that's it for the moment. Yay!!
Stupid Job Search.
Over the last few years (ever since college in fact) I've been told some pretty stupid things while looking for a job to pay the rent. So has Mitch. This is our little compilation of the best:
From 9's files!!
Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department
Position: Property Custodian (Keep people things safe while they are being processed.)
"We're sorry but you do not meet the minimum requirements for this position."
Note: Listed minimum requirements were: High school diploma, Ability to lift 35 lbs, no criminal record, fluent in english.
??? ...It was on craigslist.
Position: Janitor
"..."
Note: This one isn't so much an actual applying story, but instead about the wanted ad itself. This job offered 18 dollars an hour, full family medical, dental, paid vacations, and a ton of other benefits. It was a floor maintainance and cleaning job, full time, and it seemed to be a dream. The only problem was in big bold letters at the bottom of the ad was "MUST SPEAK SPANISH. English optional." That in itself was depressing, but on an uplift note, the question of why exactly they posted it in english was rather amusing to speculate.
JCPenny
Position: Sales
"We're sorry, but your answers do not meet with the JCPenny standards."
Note: I don't remember what exactly their automated testing told me, but it was to that effect. Then it went on to tell me to apply again in 3 months. The ridiculous part of this, of course, was the actual test itself, with such gems of questions as:
"I have stolen from my employer in the past, but I promise to never do it again."
A) Yes (Yes, I promise to never steal? Is that what they are asking?)
B) No (No, I have never stolen from an employer? Or is it No, I will do it again?)
And the ever so lovely questions where part of it almost seem like a correct answer, but there's so much extra shit tacked onto it that the answers become nonviable:
"A furious customer comes up to you and begins yelling about broken merchandise"
A) Offer them a refund, then kick them in the throat.
B) Calmly listen to their complains, then rape their mother.
C) Call security and commit ritual suicide to appease the Pudding God.
D) Stare Blankly at them, call them stupid then drool on yourself.
McLane Shipping
Position: Warehousing, LATER: Forklift operator trainee
"We're sorry, but you do not have the experience necessary for this position." LATER: "We're sorry, but you don't have the proper qualifications."
Note: The job ad that I had applied with said at the top "No experience necessary!" LATER: I applied at the behest of a friend. They told me that McLane had hired them, then paid for their forklift training. Same with everyone else there. They get hired, McLane trains them. In my case, they told me I had to already have the training. And yes, before you ask, yes, I was applying for the right position. When I related the story to my friend, their response was priceless: "What are you talking about? McLane trains people. They trained me."
Cisco System Support Center
Postion: Customer Support/Technical Support/Telephone Support
"We regret to inform you that you are overqualified for the position."
Note: The position I applied for was phone support for onsite IT personnel. There were two people that applied for the job, an idiot and myself. Considering I didn't get the job because I was "overqualified" I assume it went to the idiot.
RIDICULOUS ADS
Most of these were found while living in Iowa, a few were in Colorado and California. I wrote them down on a notebook in shorthand whenever I stumbled onto them.
***WANTED: Computer Technician NEEDED NOW!!***
Duties: Repair computers, troubleshoot errors and network problems, perform daily maintainance of systems and networks, assist with software installations. TCPIP experience pref.
Requirements:
HONEST!
MUST SPEAK ENGLISH!
A+, C++, SQL, Microsoft Windows 98SE, Javascript, Excel, Microsoft Office
At least BS in Accounting
At least 5 years paid full time exp Solaris servers
2 years exp QS2500
(Ok, Ok,... wait, Accounting? Excel? What? Also, the QS2500 threw me for a loop too, until I finally found out that it’s a barcode scanner. Okay... So... you're a server technician that has to do inventory and balance the budget of the company... Uh... good luck finding someone with all that crap at once. And then they wonder why people lie on their applications?)
Mitch's Files!!
84 Lumber Co.
Position: Manager-in-Training
"That position was filled a month ago by the most qualified applicant."
Note: It was a trial to even get this answer from these people. I applied and recieved a phone call the next day from their hiring center. After a brief questionaire, I was told that I would probably get the job because they were looking for as many Managers-in-Training as possible to complete their company's expansion. Two weeks later I called back to find out why I hadn't received a phone call to set up my interview. They hadn't faxed my paperwork to the store. Two more weeks later, I called again to see if I was finally going to get an interview, and they told me the manager was on vacation, so it'd be a little longer. Two more weeks later, I called again, this time to the store itself, which told me the regional hiring manager wasn't in town, and they need him to go through the applications to select for interviews. Two more weeks later, when I called, I spoke to the regional hiring manager who told me there was a mountain of applications and that he'd have the list of people to interview by the end of the week. Again, two weeks later, I called and was told by the store manager that the position (singular) had been filled a month ago. Before I could ask him why I had been jerked around over the phone, he hung up on me.
VoR Review: Dream of Mirror Online
It's Robin! Look familiar?
DOMO (Dream of Mirror Online)
by Robin Prescott of VoR
Ok, so to start this, we got a request from one of our readers, asking us to take a look at DOMO, this MMORPGthing that honestly, I had never heard of. That I hadn’t heard of an MMO was already odd, but what was even odder was that Garrett (Yes, that Garrett) had already played the game a few months ago. Seriously. So, Garrett tried (vainly) to keep me from getting this review. He wanted it handed to Josh. Why? Well…
Oh my god, this game is cute. CUTE, I tell you! As in so cute your ears will bleed! And, to use Erin’s word, I “lurve” the cuteness. It even more cute than Phantasy Star Online and its Mags, which I loved. Garrett was trying to keep me away from it so he wouldn’t have to hear me squealing all the time at the cuteness, so Mitch said I could play it at his house, which was fine by me since I could play the game, visit the cats, and hang with Mitch, all at the same time! So, here’s the deal, I was going to write a review with the whole like “Day one” and “Day two” thing, but I really got sucked into the whole thing. I’m writing this on day five, so I guess you’ll just have to make due with that. :p
As much as I want to start with all the positives, I think I should get all the negative stuff out of the way. First, the UI is absolutely confusing. It took me a few hours to figure out just how to do simple things. It took me two days to figure out how to just take things off the freaking action bar. Also, it seems that the fonts on my game were really messed up. So messed up, in fact, that I could never actually read the last few lines of my missions, which really sucks because I happen to like reading. I like it a lot. Grrr.
Second, the controls suck. I mean, they really suck. Especially when you’re used to things like World of Warcraft and City of Heroes. The only way to turn left and right is to right click and move the mouse, which is frustrating because moving the mouse all the way across the screen only turns the character halfway, like, 90 degrees. So, just doing something simple like running around a corner becomes this marathon of clicking and mouse waving. On the plus side, I have started building my biceps because of it. Ooo, sexy!
None of that would be a big deal though, if I had some freaking way to change the controls and key bindings, or mouse sensitivity or something. I guess I could do it by asking Mitch to change his peripheral settings, but should we really have to do that just to make a game playable from the beginning?
Last thing on my list is bad animation. I know I said that the game is really cute, and it is. Even the bad animations are still cute, but some things seem like they need more work, like the running animations, combat animations, standing animations… Actually, I think most of it needs a little bit of work. Most of them are really kinda chunky, like the animation team was drunk at work. [Dear God, wouldn’t that be the life? –Ed.]
Even with that stuff though, the cuteness of the game really pulls it through. I mean, seriously, I am absolutely in LOVE with this game.
- Story line is something about a mirror
- My character is a swordswinging badass with fuzzy ears.
- A lot of people compared it to Final Fantasy, when it’s more like Guild Wars, because Guild Wars is free, but other than that, it doesn’t have too much similar to either one. Really, I think it’s closer to Animal Crossing.
Compared to Guild Wars, yeah, Guild Wars is probably the better game, but GW is also very… not cute. And GW has this big thing about killing, and death, and destruction, and fire, which is all very cool and stuff, but it’s not cute. And DOMO is CUTE.
Oh yeah, and it’s free.
Why Feminists Suck
WHY FEMINISTS SUCK
An observation of self-detrimental action and societal structuring as it relates to gender equality.
ABSTRACT:
I personally have always wondered about the statement I hear from Feminists about women being equal to men. Now, I do agree that women are equally valuable to society as men, if not more so, but I question the specifics of the argument. Things such as strength, intelligence, and independence often arise in such conversations, with Feminists claiming diligence equal to if not greater than their male counterparts.
It is important to note that I make a large distinction between a woman who appreciates and encourages female integration in society, and a Feminist. Feminists typically have no appreciation for males, and instead rely on the same narrow-minded tactics that were formerly used to oppress women, such as spreading misinformation about the potential of the opposite sex.
DEFINITIONS:
- Feminist: We know these women. They speak of gender equality, but spend more time trying to knock men down a few pegs than trying to improve on themselves. The social group equivalent of trying to break someone else’s face so you’ll be prettier than they are by comparison.
- Intelligence: I am not talking about how big your brain is. Or how capable you are at mental gymnastics. I am referring here to clinical intelligence. Mechanical problem solving capability as it relates to survival. Generally speaking, women are better at “mental juggling” than men are. Men are better at objective ‘this plus that equals that.’ That is most likely due to men being designed for hunting and other high risk roles. Or alternately, because society places the responsibility for those roles on the shoulders of men and therefore they have adapted to that situation, depending on how you look at it.
OUTLINE:
Getting mad at men for the difficulties women face is like playing chess and getting mad at the opposition’s chess pieces while you attempt to play the game with cards. Chess was designed to be played with chess pieces. Society was made by men, for men. Societal structure as a whole needs to be reassessed to deal with sexual equality.
Also, the argument of Feminists needs to be reassessed to promote valuable female attributes, rather than scoffing at feminine qualities and encouraging girls to become pseudo-males.
Logically, if a society needs people with certain attributes to ensure there’s always food available, then people with those attributes would be valued in that society. That value would lead to the best having more reproductive options.
That same society would raise its children to understand that those attributes are valuable things. Thus the society accepts those attributes are good, and emphasizes them according to priority based on environment.
When a society is controlled by men, it is male attributes which will be emphasized.
THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS AND HOCKEY PLAYERS:
Let’s image a group of people will similar attributes. We’ll call them Joes. Now, these Joes want a game to play, they would, logically, make a game that would support their attributes. If they are good at throwing balls, running, and tackling, they would make a game like football. Let’s imagine that to be the case.
Let’s imagine a second group called Janes. These Janes want to game too, but if they’re all naturally graceful and can jump really high, then they probably wouldn’t make a game like football, they would make something that fits their own skills more naturally.
In the case of men vs. women in society, that’s essentially what it is like. The structure of society was built by men, for men. The attributes valued are the attributes necessary for personal advancement based on the structure of that system. If strength and independence are integral to a man’s survival, then strength and independence will be valued in a system designed by men. There’s no sense in someone making a system which values something not inherently part of the design of the pieces of that system. In other words, if you were designing a card game, chess pieces wouldn’t be particularly valuable.
Women in America, until fairly recently, have not been a valued group. Suddenly women are thrust into a system which decided these traits are valuable, these traits are not, and women have had an awkward time adjusting to that. Suddenly women are allowed to vote or hold positions of power, but there’s a problem: The system wasn’t designed to handle women, so those women encounter problems “making it up the ladder,” such as the proverbial “glass ceiling.”
But it stands to reason that women don’t have the same skills as men, so therefore can’t reach as high in a male oriented system.
…ENTER THE FEMINIST:
When Feminists go on about women being just as strong, intelligent, and independent as men, it’s like saying that a figure skater is just as good at football player at throwing a ball, tackling people, and running. A figure skater may be capable of learning to play football given enough time, but why should that be important? Why can’t a figure skater be good at figure skating instead?
And if strength, intelligence, and independence are male traits, then what are Feminists saying? Female can have just as many male traits as men do? Isn’t that even vaguely insulting? Doesn’t it seem counter-productive to the idea of elevating women?
The fault lies with the design of the system. The current methods of government, economy, and society are decidedly male in design, thus the design favors men. It is a system which worked incredibly well in the past, when plagues, war, famine, and death were omnipresent. A male controlled society then was protected and safe, even if it was oppressive and hostile. But now, that design is flawed. We aren’t fighting wolves in the forest or battling the elements, or otherwise operating under incredibly dire and deadly situations. Our society is huge, and is safe due to its size. Rather than claiming that it is men who oppress women, it would be more reasonable to understand that it is the system itself which oppresses women, and therefore it is the system which needs changing. The system should be torn out, examined, and a new system should be created which emphasizes the attributes and skills of both sexes.
THE ORIGIN:
Men deal almost exclusively in hierarchal systems. It would seem reasonable that in prehistoric times, males would identify problems in social groups and attempt to remedy those problems with structure, even subconsciously. As the size of social groups grew, more structure becomes necessary, especially in opposition to dangers in the environment.
Also, it should be mentioned that most likely the hierarchal system was most likely designed to counter male independence. Such as, if you get a group of men together, they’re not really empathetic with each others needs, so therefore they all wander off in different directions. Hierarchy, based on who is the strongest and therefore more likely to be dangerous, would end being necessary, in the idea of: Okay, I need to eat, but I can’t kill a mammoth on my own, so, all you guys have to help me, or else I’ll beat you into a pulp with a heavy object.
OBVIOUSLY:
The attentive will understand I’m not saying women cannot be strong, intelligent, or independent. To say such a thing would be comparable to saying that a painting must exist as absolutely one color. What I am saying is that to outright demand that these qualities be fulfilled specifically in opposition to men, is absolutely ridiculous. It’s like saying a photographer should stop taking photos and learn to paint. In the scheme of female empowerment and encouragement of gender equality, it’s incredibly self-detrimental. Rather than be yourself, or improve all aspects of yourself, you should be perpetually combative, and try so damned hard to prove that the other groups of humans are weak and pathetic.
NOTES:
Figure skating is not something to scoff at. It takes an incredible amount of endurance and finesse, as well planning. When done well, it can be absolutely beautiful. My mother loves figure skating, and so that’s why I use it as an example. Not because it’s girly or anything.
The title was just to be obnoxious.
This article was never finished. It was just cleaned up and dusted off. I don't even agree with myself on a few points here. I think I wrote this when I was in college or something.
VoR Review: Halo 3
It's Robin! Look familiar?
Halo 3
by Robin Prescott of VoR
OH, THE HORROR
When Mitch told me this was the game I would be reviewing this week, I went through many different emotions. First, confusion. Why would he give this one to me, when Erin has been spending her paychecks buying all the Halo crap she can? She loves the series. Me, I’m lukewarm. Next, I felt elation. “Yay! Shiny new toy!” I thought. Third, I felt horror. Suddenly, all my memories of Halo 2 multiplayer came rushing back in one fell swoop, and I was scared. Dear God, please don’t let me be swallowed in a sea of prepubescent pissing contests.
To play this, I would need strength; a strength that one only gets by playing games incredibly late at night with noone around (except for the stuffed animals, of course) and a huge plate of snack foods. I curled up on the couch in the test room, whimpered softly and began my descent into the 3rd circle of hell, which is reserved for egomaniacs, twitch gamers, college dropouts, and 13 year old boys (so far as I can tell).
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
On startup, things are fairly normal. We have a new remix of the Halo theme. This one stays in the background a little bit more than 2’s, which means no trying to sing along. (Awww.) The menu is a little bit confusing though. We have new options, Theatre and Forge,… I’ll get to those later. The big thing that I wanted to jump into was Co-op campaigns. I loved campaign on Halo 2, so hey, maybe I can finish the story and be done with this life-sucking trilogy. For this, I would need a partner to supplement my meager “Noob” skills, so I grabbed the most obvious choice. Erin. Slayer of Aliens, Humans, and anything that dares point a gun in her direction. Judging just from first look at the co-op menu, it looks like it might be possible to host a campaign on Xbox Live. I never actually tested it, but if we could, thumbs up Bungie.
The story started off strong, but as we played through, I realized I had no clue what was going on. I thought that the story in 3 was just a continuation of 2, but wow, I was wrong. Erin was constantly blabbing on and on about the story, trying to explain what was going on and why, but for the most part, I didn’t get it. So, I just tried to concentrate on the task at hand: Killing sh*t.
Which, as luck would have it, is quite easy. Even though I was rusty, and we were playing on Heroic (much to my dismay, but at the insistence of Erin) I still managed to keep up with a decent number of kills, so long as Erin stayed alive. See, in co-op as long as one player is alive, the other will respawn next to them if they’re out of battle for a few seconds. It keeps the battles going fairly quick. The system works kinda like co-op in Gears of War, but without having to find and touch the teammate. If both players die though,… well, you’ll have to sit through the loading screen, which is incredibly boring, and usually takes a bit.
EH, ITS HALO
For the most part though, there’s not really much new here. It’s still Halo. The graphics won’t make you have a heart attack, the sound isn’t terribly stunning, and the gameplay is incredibly repetitive. All of it comes together to make a great multiplayer game, but if you’re not that deep into multiplayer, like me, you’ll find it a little bit disappointing considering all the hype.
Once again, the settings of the campaign will have you alternating between “Oh my god! Its so pretty!” and “What the hell?” There’s lush jungles with unexplainable log formations, destroyed cities with pretty sunsets, and pus ridden innards of the Flood filled spaceships.
YES, THAT’S RIGHT. THE FLOOD.
Goddamn it. I hate the Flood. But, I suppose there couldn’t be a Halo game without them. The little zombie makers have made me notice something about the Halo series though. It would seem that the story seems to constantly repeat itself. Master Chief wakes up, wanders through Convenant, shoots things, the Flood shows up, he battles his way through them, then find the largest bomb possible (Spaceship, Halo, Artificial Planet, etc) and then proceeds to blow the crap out of everything, ending with his questionable disappearance, leaving everyone unsure as to whether he’s alive or dead. Sorry if I busted your spoiler-free bubble, but its true.
Honestly, at this point, I’m really bored with the story. So, let’s move on to something else!
DEAR GOD, NO!
Multiplayer. The only thing I hate more about Halo than the Flood. Luckily, Mitch told me I would only have to sit through a few matches, just to get a feel of things. What I found surprised me. There was no trash talking. Actually, in all of the matches I played, there was at least one person who complimented my use of my dear sticky grenades. I was absolutely floored. Did they… really… just… compliment me? Instead of talking about my mother and tacos?... How many virgins did Bungie have to sacrifice for this??
And we got to play dress-up with our Spartans. I was instantly in love with this. For 3, Bungie has added in the ability to change more than just the armor color, but also the armor parts, like multiple helmets, shoulder pads, and so on. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any parts unlocked, except for like two or three, so my Spartan ended up looking like a 60’s Sci-fi reject.
An interesting addition here is the USNC tags. Evidently you can make a shortened tag for yourself made up of a letter and two numbers that will float over your head instead of your full name. In my opinion, that’s very cool, and a very good idea. When in the thick of things, you really don’t want to be trying to figure out how to sound out Ms7rbo0mr11. I think more games should toss that in when they have hectic multiplayer.
BUT THERE’S NEW TOYS!!
Oh, yes. There are new toys. And Erin and I love them. There’s the shields, invulnerability, shield sappers, regenerators, heavy turrets, flamethrowers, and more. The biggest addition here is the equipment, which can add some new flavor to the standard gameplay, offering new tactics other than just run in, guns blazing, especially when teamed up with a friend for the story. The new guns are cool, although sometimes it seems like they just don’t hold enough ammo, especially the Spartan laser and maulers. The new grenade, I love as much as I can, which is good because you find it approximately 3092^4 more often than the good old blue stickies. It works kind of like the stickies (in other words it still sticks), but it has an incredibly small explosion, so don’t hope to catch too many badies in the blast. Other new things: Mongoose (cool), Chopper (Not so much), Hornet (Hellyeahs!), and The Flood (Wait, what??). Seriously, there’s a couple new types of Flood enemies. I can barely contain my enthusiasm.
Another thing that’s welcome here is the Forge, which lets you modify maps, and put pretty much whatever you want down in the game. Want a rocket launcher with crap load of ammo just lying around? Go ahead!
Enter the “saved films” feature. While playing around in campaign mode, the game gives you the ability the record and save footage of yourself and who ever is with you, provided you leave the campaign and go to Theatre first. Basic functionality is here, cut, fast forward, etc. Make your own little gameplay movies, have a blast, yada yada yada. But then, those saved movies and modified maps can then be traded to friends with the… File sharing!
No, its not like Napster, but you can trade maps and even movies of your Gameplay expeditions to other players, if they even care that is. Which isn’t likely. After the 20 years of continuous video from Halo 2, I’m pretty burned out on “Hey look what I can do!” videos, and I imagine everyone else is too. Even Erin had a hard time getting excited about the Theatre.
As for the Achievements, they’re pretty standard. Kill so many enemies this way, Destroy so and so this way. Beat the game with this restriction. Find this skull. Get to this rank in Multiplayer, so on and so on. Honestly, the achievements are easy enough to get you might find yourself playing through the campaign a few times to get them, even if only to get the armors (squee!!) that the achievements unlock.
QUIT WHINING, YOU BABY.
In the end, I’m not too impressed. Erin was ecstatic about almost everything, but then again she’s the biggest Halo geek I’ve ever known. And, I doubt anyone is even reading this to decide whether or not they’re going to get the game. Mitch made me do this review just because he expected us to get complaints if we didn’t. I give it a decent score, it’s probably worth your money, unless you’re as burned out on Halo as I am. Let’s face it, if you like Halo, you’re going to get the game, if not, you won’t. There’s no mystery here.
[Wow. What a way to end a review. –Ed.]
[By the way, the Mitch mentioned in this is Michael "Mitch" Evans, the imaginary Editor of VoR, which isn't the same as the Mitch on the SEDiverse. Just a coincidence. -9]
VoR Review: Overlord
Garrett, the Critic
Overlord Review
by Garrett Patterson of VoR
Oh dear God, save me from mediocrity. That was my one ringing thought as I finished playing Overlord. This game, designed by Triumph Studios, and published by Codemasters, is a shining example of what not to do halfway through an action/adventure game project. And it starts out so well. As the title suggests you play as the Overlord, and you can pretty much do whatever you want. Here the catch, though: there is just not enough to do. That's right. In the one game where it would be awesome to sandbox a bit, there's nothing. Sure, you can go through the areas you've conquered, but why? I'm not joking here; there is just really nothing to do.
What about the achievements, I hear some of the XBox 360 fanboys asking. For the love of Christ, someone needs to put a stop to that crap. There are forty some achievements for Overlord. Thirteen or so are for the horrific multiplayer mode. Two are for endings, which you choose in the first thirty minutes of the game. The other achievements are such ridiculous things as ACTUALLY PLAYING THROUGH THE GAME, which, apparently, the developers didn't expect.
Multiplayer in this is a bigger joke than it normally is. First off, only two player multiplayer mode, which is fine. Except, of course, for the other players. I, no joke, spent two and a half hours, HOURS, waiting for someone to join my co-op Survival game. I also have NEVER been able to find a game created by someone other than me, and that is a truly scary idea.
The story of the actual game itself is a joke of biblical size. The bosses of the game are weakly based on the seven deadly sins. Like that has been done to death. The plot is weak and predictable enough for a five year old to know what the "plot twist" is be in the first ten minutes. Plus, I'm pretty sure that the people over at Triumph Studios have some sort of sick obsession with morbidly obese characters.
All in all, the flaws of this game are just too many. This is a Fable clone without a "Good" path... Oh wait... Fable really didn't have one of those either. I would write a lot more on this game, but my blood pressure sky rockets just thinking about it. It score a weak 61% because the goal of the game was to be evil, and there just isn't enough evil to do.
How to Make Video Games
"How to make video games"
Originally for DvP Blog, but never finished.
Character design-
This is one of the most important aspects of making a game. The lead character. He should fit into the world, and make sense. Like, if he is a badass, he should say badass things. And if hes not a badass, he should just stay quiet. HAHAHAHAHA.
Level design
-Make sure that its as obfuscated as imaginable, and only the people who made it can actually traverse the level in a decent amount of time. Players want to be challenged, and whats more challenging that objectives placed in areas the player cant reach unless they have already played the game a few times?
Gameplay
- This is a real important one. If players find your game too easy, nobody will want to play it, so you have to make sure the game is challenging. Remember, if it isnt challenging to you, the guy who actually designed all the challenges and their solutions, a four year old could beat you. You dont want four year olds to beat you, do you? So, be sure to always do play throughs on the game, like find out how much ammo it takes to beat a level, then take away that ammo to make sure the player will always be low on ammo, guaranteeing that theyll be challenged.
Story
-What?
Special Effects
-These are what we went to college for. Use the biggest computers possible, and make the prettiest game possible.
Tie-ins and Marketing
-Players will eat this shit up. Toys, books, special editions, super special editions, it doesnt matter. Theyll buy it all.
Sound
-Nobody really cares about this area as long as guns sound like guns. For music, its always nice to use low cost, high profile bands, and if one of those won't do it, a guy with a keyboard in his basement will do. Whatever's cheapest. This is one of the areas that you can cut costs in to pump the money and manpower into things that matter, like graphics.
IHM, VoR, and DvP – The time before SED
Okay, so back before SED, there was another comic that The Colorist (Mitch) and I tried to get started. The name of that comic was I Hate Mondays.
Meet Barry.
What was it about? Well, it was this kinda mind bending fantasy about a guy named Barry Gibbler who works in an office... And he's so bored with his life that he starts drifting off into his own little fantasies. Like, a simple trip to the copy room with a profit-expenditure report becomes him wandering the forest, dodging ninjas, to find an old sage who can copy a mystic tome.
Eventually, Barry gets a little too wrapped up in his own fantasies, and weird shit starts happening in the office, that was supposed to have only happened in his head. Like he finds shuriken (ninja stars) stuck in the wall outside the copy room or a janitor claims to have been assaulted by ninjas at 2:30 in the morning, while cleaning the copy room.
This all leads to Barry getting stuck in his own head, while an Evil Barry takes over his life, and Barry has to go on an epic adventure through all his old fantasies, etc etc.
It was a solid idea, and it gave me a lot of opportunities to use my widely varying style and short attention span. (Because I could use one style for one week, then switch to another for the next week.) Only problem? It was a bit too complicated to draw on a daily basis. Especially with color. I didn't even get the first page done before I realized the problems with the idea.
Okay, so scrap IHM.
But, the colorist and I really liked some of the characters, and some of the setting, so we started twisting it around another idea: Make a website about video games.
Enter DvP and VoR
Imagine an AltReality experiment. Where there's two websites that seem to be off in their own little world, talking about video games and entertainment, some of which don't really exist. One is the blog of a Game Development company, and the other is an online video game magazine.
The blog is called 'Developer versus Player' (DvP), and the magazine is called 'Voice of Reason' (VoR).
All the people working on the two sites are fake. Some of the thing reviewed are fake. But either way, it's a focus for the ongoing war between gamers and the developers and their financiers.
Basically, the whole idea was combine my art skills, passion for storytelling, and knowledge of the video game industry with Mitch's writing skills, programming, and video game addiction.
It bombed.
There was wayyy too much writing that needed to be done, with too many voices. But in the mean time, we ended up with a bunch of writing. I figure I'll put a bit of it up here just to act as conversation fodder.
Article Categorizor!!
- Android (6)
- bloggerator (7)
- Comedy (16)
- Common Sense (11)
- Development (3)
- Entertainment Reviews (13)
- Featured Articles (3)
- Java (1)
- Opinion (12)
- Politiks (9)
- Religion (1)
- Science (8)
- Site News (20)
- Tech (2)
- Written (6)