“How to make video games”
Originally for DvP Blog, but never finished.

Character design-
This is one of the most important aspects of making a game. The lead character. He should fit into the world, and make sense. Like, if he is a badass, he should say badass things. And if hes not a badass, he should just stay quiet. HAHAHAHAHA.

Level design
-Make sure that its as obfuscated as imaginable, and only the people who made it can actually traverse the level in a decent amount of time. Players want to be challenged, and whats more challenging that objectives placed in areas the player cant reach unless they have already played the game a few times?

Gameplay
- This is a real important one. If players find your game too easy, nobody will want to play it, so you have to make sure the game is challenging. Remember, if it isnt challenging to you, the guy who actually designed all the challenges and their solutions, a four year old could beat you. You dont want four year olds to beat you, do you? So, be sure to always do play throughs on the game, like find out how much ammo it takes to beat a level, then take away that ammo to make sure the player will always be low on ammo, guaranteeing that theyll be challenged.

Story
-What?

Special Effects
-These are what we went to college for. Use the biggest computers possible, and make the prettiest game possible.

Tie-ins and Marketing
-Players will eat this shit up. Toys, books, special editions, super special editions, it doesnt matter. Theyll buy it all.

Sound
-Nobody really cares about this area as long as guns sound like guns. For music, its always nice to use low cost, high profile bands, and if one of those won’t do it, a guy with a keyboard in his basement will do. Whatever’s cheapest. This is one of the areas that you can cut costs in to pump the money and manpower into things that matter, like graphics.